Our Friend's struggle

This message was written by my friend Margie. She serves in the YW with me and our kids play together. Her husband's diagnosis has been a shock to me and I have spent many hours trying to think of ways to help and what their family must be going through. Please help them. They are good people who have a big trial in their lives.


***FEDERAL EMPLOYEES- PLEASE DONATE LEAVE TO RYAN HESS***

My name is Margie Hess, my husband Ryan was diagnosed on June 12, 2009 with a rare and aggressive form of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Since this is an aggressive form of T-Cell Lymphoma, his doctor has put him on an aggressive chemo regimen that will result in him being unable to work for the next 4-6 months and possibly longer. At the time of diagnosis he was finishing up his 1^st year as a Podiatry Resident at the V.A. in Tucson, AZ. Ryan is a devoted husband and father of two children, Hallie (5) and Max (2). By the end of this month (June 2009), Ryan will use up the last of his vacation and sick leave and will have to go on unpaid leave. Ryan is the sole provider for our family; I stay at home with both the kids. Without him working we have no income. I need to stay home to help care for him, so I cannot get a job right now, either. As difficult as it is for our family to have to ask for help, we have realized that we must do so at this time. We were told that any federal employee (ie: military, Border Patrol, DEA, FB I, Dept of Justice, EPA etc. EXCEPT Post Office employees) can donate vacation time to be used as sick leave for another Federal employee. We would be so thankful for any number of extra paid days we can accumulate. Thank you so much.

How can you help if you ARE a Federal Employee?

Go to your HR department and request to donate leave to Ryan Hess who works for the VA. (Your HR person will know the form that needs to be filled out- each Federal agency has their own form to donate leave)

Once filled out and signed, the HR person will then need to fax or e-mail the form to:

OLIVIA McCLURE - Benefits Specialist (TUCSON V.A.)

Phone #: (520) 792-1450 x 6076

Fax # : (520) 629-1849

E-Mail : olivia.mcclure@va.gov

ALSO, for those who are federal employees, please print out this message and post it in break/lunch rooms to help get the word out as well as emailing it to co-workers!

How to help if you are NOT a Federal Employee:

PASS this along to ANYONE and EVERYONE that you know and then ask them to pass the message along. Post it on blogs, Facebook...whatever you can think of.

Thanks again everyone- this will help SO much!

GO TEAM RYAN HESS!

(E-mail teamryanhess@gmail.com to receive updates or to send a message!)

Where have we been?

So, I spent a week and a half in Utah visiting my family. It is always great to have so many helping hands and some great adult conversation. I sure love my family. I think I like my brothers and sisters more and more the older I get. I was really bad about taking pictures. So, there's not many to look at.

My mom made a list of things that we did so the girls could take it home and tell Brent about how great their trip was. It turned out to be a rather long list. Unfortunately, Emma left it on the plane. So, I'm going to have to go by memory.

• Swimming (complete with waterslides, lazy river, todllers pool etc.) Sydney LOVED the slides. She would squeel and put her arms up like she was on a roller coaster. I almost drowned at the end because I was laughing so hard.

• Riding Horses (even Aiden laughed while ridding)

• Going up to out timeshare condo in Eden (it was GORGEOUS)

• Rode Four-wheelers (I only tipped once-just a few bruises, this was my favorite thing. We found awesome trails, went on great jumps and just had a really great time. This girls even came for a little while one day)

• Went out to dinner (this was a big deal because the girls didn't really like their meal, and when the manager asked about it-they told him. So, he asked what they wanted instead-Ice Cream and they ordered it with/without cookies, cheeries, whipped cream etc. They thought it was WAY cool that they ordered whatever they wanted and go it for free) We went to Iggy's-my new favorite restaurant

• Played with, fed, and then (accidentally) killed two cotton tail rabbits that my mom had caught

• Went to the Children's Museum (there was a castle/knight/princess area-need I say more?)

• Went to the zoo. (The girls are a great age for this. Aiden wasn't interested until we got down close to a skunk. The skunk was interested in Aiden on the other side of the glass. Aiden didn't really appreciate the attention and started crying and trying to run away)

• We went and saw UP at the theaters. Highly recommend it. The little kids, big kids, and old kids all loved it.

Those were the big things I can think of right now. We did lots of little things while hanging out at Grandma's house. We watched movies, did the slip-n-slide, jumped on the trampoline, and had lots of fun with all of the barbies.

Thanks mom and dad, for everything! It was a really great trip!!!

Photography Parents....

We are normal parents. I promise. We took Aiden to the park for his 9 month photos. 24 minutes later we had taken 220 photos. Is that normal?

Aiden picked up a second tooth. I think it makes him look much more handsome.

Here are a couple of shots from the trip. There are more posted at our website.

This Child Will be the Death of Me - Part 2

Sydney found the scissors. After giving all of the "My-little-Pony" dolls haircuts, she decided to go through a important rite of passage for a 3 year old: The SAH (Self Administered Haircut)

The pictures below represent her new look after the Miranda took her in to a local salon to get things evened out. *sigh*

This Child Will be the Death of Me

Does anyone want a 3 year old? I can get you a great deal.

Aiden the Kangaroo

Brent's mom has told me about how much he loved the jonny-jump-up when he was a baby. Apparently, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Here is a video of Aiden having a good time

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Not Sharing

Do moms always have to share? As a child I thought so. I can distinctly remember the first time my mom said she wouldn't share her candy bar with me. I was floored! "What!?" I thought, "You can say NO!!! But, you're my mom and I'm asking you to give me a bite and you just said no?!"

Emma learned this lesson on mother's day this year. Sometimes she has a hard time with other people having birthdays, winning prizes etc. I got a bag of yummy chocolates in church and she wasn't happy about that. We dropped her off at primary crying, picked her up at the end and when I offered to give her a hershey kiss, she started up again (she didn't want a kiss), then when I told her that mommies get treats sometimes and they don't always have to share-she lost it. She cried all the way home and for 45 minutes afterwards. She kept asking why kids didn't get things and only mommies and why I didn't have to share etc. (I will admit that I was being a little selfish, but the bigger her tantrum, the more determined I was to NOT share and make a point) At one point, she even started crying because she WASN'T a mommy "I want to be a mommy! Then I will get treats!"

At bed time, she told me what her game plan was for getting even.

"When you're resurrected and a mommy, and I'm resurrected and a mommy and it's mother's day and I get treats at church-I'M NOT SHARING THEM WITH YOU!!!!"

"Okay,"I said, "because mommies don't always have to share"

As a side note, I had a great weekend. Brent watched the kids for two days while I left on a scrapbook retreat with a big group of friends. I had a really good time, came home to a clean house and happy children. Thanks, Brent, you're the greatest (I think I might share my treats with you).

Life is Fair - Part 2

We figured it would be good to get the girls out of the house, so Dad took them down to the county fair. I think Emma needs more activities like this. When we saw the large Clydesdale horse Emma asked me, "Is that real?"

When we went to the petting zoo and saw the goats and pigs Emma asked me, "Are they real?"

When we went to the rides Emma said, "WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

And if you are wondering, Aiden and Mommy are at home taking naps.

Life is Fair - Part 1

More than he could chew...

A few days ago at the dinner table, Aiden bit off more than he could chew. Whatever he had eaten had partially blocked his throat. He was coughing and gagging, so it wasn't technically a full chocking incident, but it was close.

We pulled him out of his booster seat and began to give him some gentle thumps on the back to help dislodge the food. There were several seconds of tense silence around the table as we worked to help him out.

Emma was obviously feeling the tension, and felt the need to say something to break the silence. She blurted out, "I knew we shouldn't have had another baby."

It took everything in our power not to laugh. A few seconds later Aiden coughed up the offending food item: a small piece of his croissant roll.

The good news? Yesterday his first tooth poked through. Now we can lecture him about chewing before he swallows instead of him just trying to gum everything to death.

My Oprah aha moment

So, I spent most of the evening yesterday complaining. Complaining about how I can't keep the house clean, the laundry is never done, the kids won't do what I say, nothing ever gets done. The way this morning went only affirmed my frustrations. So, like I do when I'm stressed, I sat down and watched Oprah. She had country music stars performing and Darius Rucker performened his song "It won't be like this for long". It made me tear up and remember that my kids won't be little very long. Pretty soon they're not going to want me to play dolls with them or let me hug and kiss them in public. It was a nice reminder of how unimportant house cleaning and laundry is. In twenty years, I really will be sad that they're not four anymore. I am lucky right now, even if I'm in a dirty house with a long to-do list. Because, really, it won't be like this for long.

Here is a link to the website where you can hear the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_lUnFjXg8&feature=related

Camping we will go....

Brent and I decided to go camping this past weekend. We only had one night open. So, we left Friday afternoon, set up camp, went to bed, woke up, took down camp and came home. We went with some friends from the ward who don't have any kids, but brought their big dog (which the girls loved). We both walked away thinking "boy, that was a lot of work". It's a whole new ball game when you're the parent going camping.



As you can see, camping in Arizona isn't quite the same as the lush mountains. We didn't get to do much exploring and did have a few run ins with the local cactus. One advantage, though is that we were soooo warm. Even at night it was great weather.

The girls loved sleeping in their tent. They spent much of the morning inside it playing

Or, as you can see, just chilling.....in their undies.

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Sarah and Phil gave us some needed breaks from holding Aiden who, even at home, insists on being held almost every waking minute.

The girls loved Fritz, the dog. Brent hated him. Despite having dogs while growing up, Brent has not learned to like them. The girls kept telling him, "I wish WE could have a dog"

More Days

We had Valentine's Day celebrations consisting of pink pancakes and some pez candy from mom and dad. The girls though that was pretty neat. Aiden really enjoyed the pancakes!

Emma and Aiden had a picnic in the backyard. This is mommy's way of getting out of going to the park.

Days at the Jackman house

So, it's been a while since I update the blog, and in an effort to document our normal everyday things, I wanted to post a few pictures of just random stuff we've been doing.

Aiden has been learning to sit up. With the girls, it was a one week process. Aiden, though has taken a month long from start to finish. He seems to fight it. He can sit up for a long time when deeply interested in something right in front of him. But, if it moves or he doesn't want to sit up. He flings himself backwards and will NOT even try to sit. So, he sits with is boppy around him to save his soft head from his own stubborness.



Emma is constantly asking to do crafts. So, we have made a lot of bead jewelry lately. They have a really good time. This is a good representation of how the girls look during the day. Sydney insists on doing her own hair. Usually with huge random bows. They are RARELY in regular clothes. It's alwasy some leotard or dress up dress.

Animals meeting other animals

We took advantage of one of Brent's off Fridays to go to the zoo. It's been a long time since we were there, so it was really exciting.

Aiden was giggling and smiling. We tried to catch it on camera, and this was the look he gave us.

"What? You're going to take my picture. Oh, okay, I'll take a break from laughing to pose for the picture." He is already a trained subject for Brent's photo experiments.

We put all the kids in the turtle shell for a picture. Here, Aiden is trying to roll over. He's not a big fan of tummy time.

So, we put him on the floor. He was just learning to sit, so Emma has her hand behind his back holding him up for the picture. Isn't Sydney cute?

Happy Birthday Brent!

Brent's Birthday was yesterday. He is officially 31 years young. The girls were more excited about everything than he was. Brent asked for brownies and Emma was less than thrilled about not having a cake. But, after I told her we would put candles on it, she was okay. I just grabbed a handful of candles (I didn't want to make him really blow out all 31) and gave them to Emma. She was very indecisive about where to put them. Thus, our brownies were full of holes where she had stuck in a candle and then decided to move it.

We made cards for him and Brent and I both commented on how nicely they were done (much thanks to our friend Mara who helped them do the cards while I taught her daughter piano lessons). Unfortunately, his presents (a nice set of luggage) didn't get here on time. So, he opened an envelope with a picture. We're both excited to use them! Then, we got a babysitter and went out to eat at P.F. Changs. We had a great time just talking and hanging out with each other.

We love you Brent! Thanks for being such an awesome dad and husband. Things I love about you:

• You're always quick with a witty comment
• You always know the answers to things, if you don't, you'll look it up.
• You wrestle with the kids
• You are always willing to read to the girls
• You often walk in the door from a long day's work, and walk straight up to me to take a crying Aiden from my arms
• Your camera takes great pictures :) (Here's a tip, NEVER say this to a photographer)
• You are extremely patient with me
• You support me in doing things for myself
• You're handy and a great fix it man

I could go on, but you get the idea. Thanks for all you do, Brent. Hope you had a Happy Birthday!

My favorite little boy

So, because Brent does all the posts, there are many pictures and few words. I wanted to take a minute a talk about Aiden since he has made it half a year without much documentation.

Aiden is my joy. For the first time, I want my baby to stop growing and just be little. It's bittersweet that he is 6 months old. I just want to hold him and cuddle him all day long. Sometimes, I do. I play with him far more than I played with the girls at this age. The other day, we just "rough housed" on my bed for almost an hour. It was so fun. He loves to play with people and is finally enjoying his sisters. (In the past, Sydney has been a little too much for him and he would actually cry and look away when she got too crazy). I still have to work for giggles, but smiles come easily. I decided last week that he needed to learn to roll over (yes, he never has rolled over) and so I took a few minutes and "taught" him how it was done. After a day of that, he got the hang of it and can do it on his own now. I would've never waited so long with my first baby. He needs more practice and doesn't lift his upper body off the floor much, so we'll work on that. I would probably say that he is sitting up too. He still falls backwards a lot, but he can sit for a while on his own and play with toys.

He is a great baby as long as I'm holding him. He naps great in the morning and the afternoon is often a toss up. Thus, he can be fussy in the evenings while I'm trying to do dinner, clean up etc. I give him massages for his bedtime routine and that is one of our favorite times of the day. He always coos a lot and smiles at me. It's really fun. He's got the "nay" sound down and sometimes I think it's a "day" or "may" sound.

We take him for his check up next week and so I'll know more about how big he is. I know he weighs 18 lbs. becuase he was at the doctors yesterday for a possible ear infection (no infection). His eyes are a beautiful light blue and remind me of the way Sydney's used to be. He is pleasantly plump and I think that his hair has stopped falling out and is growing back now, except for the wonderful bald spot on the back.

So, this is long enough, but I think you get the point. Aiden is my favorite right now. He makes me happy. He's not my best baby. But, even if he's fussy, I just adore him. I think I was ready for a baby when he came and having older kids who can play by themselves leaves me with time to spend on him. It's so wonderful. He is my "handsome boy."

Happy Half-Birthday

Aiden is 6 months old. Oh how time flies. We love you buddy!