Being a mommy is....hard

     I have been spending a lot of time lately trying to improve my parenting skills.  I think I could actually say that every week.  Being a good mom is something that I feel passionate about.  I jump at the chance to hear how other moms do things, read books about it from experts, go to classes or read blogs.  I want to soak up all sorts of good ideas.  The problem comes, often, in the application.  In my head I know I shouldn't yell, but sometimes I react with yelling before I even think.  I know in my head I should give them more responsibility, but so often it's easier to just do it myself while they play.  I know in my head that I should be patient and caring no matter how I feel but, if I'm tired or grumpy, I don't always act appropriately.  Thus, I research perfect parents and wonderful advice and then feel discouraged that my family can't get it together.  My family can't master chores without tears and frustration or eat a healthy organic meal together each night.
 
     My children deserve a perfect mother.  Instead, they got me.

     Last week, I was feeling especially guilty about all of this and the thought came to me that Heavenly Father doesn't want me to feel this way about this sacred calling.  Satan wants me to feel depressed, overwhelmed, discouraged and hopeless.  But, my Heavenly Father wants me to feel hopeful.  He wants me to acknowledge my flaws, try to fix them and then HOPE for the best.  I need to have faith that He will make up for what I lack.  I can give my worries and fears about mothering to Him and He will take care of it.  This is more than I can handle alone.  I need Him too.

     So, I have put down a few of those books.  I have stopped thinking of all the things I can't do.  I have made a goal to replace those negative thoughts with thoughts of hope.  Sometimes this is hard and it requires a little prayer asking for help.  I do want my kids to have the perfect mother.  But, that will never happen. I am grateful for the reminder that if I partner with God, things will be perfect enough.