While staying at my mom's house this summer. My dad turned to me while driving in the car one day and told me what a great mother I was. He told me how I was doing a wonderful job, to keep up the good work, and how amazing my children are. I immediately looked out the window to hide the tears streaming down my face, surprised at the impact of those words. They were just so wonderful to hear.
Oftentimes, motherhood is a thankless job. My children rarely tell me how grateful they are I made something yucky for dinner (again), or how they are so appreciative that I make them do homework and get to bed on time. My husband is sometimes gone for longs hours and I feel alone in my exhaustion and frustration. The work I have done feels overlooked, taken for granted or forgotten. Like nobody even noticed. So, when I finally got a simple "atta boy," I couldn't hold in my emotions.
How different would the world be if we gave mothers the applause they
deserve? Can you imagine getting a high five every time you controlled
your temper and didn't yell even though you just mopped the floor and
that orange juice is sooo sticky. What if WE got a certificate of
appreciation every time our kids accomplished something? Because we all
know that if it wasn't for mothers, lots of kids wouldn't accomplish much. What if the world gave prizes to mothers who made it out the
door, on time, with everyone fully dressed?
What if raising a family was society's top priority?
I've thought a lot about the experience with my dad. I joked with my friends a few days later that they need to call me every week and tell me what a great job I am doing so next time I hear it, it won't be such a big deal. Since then, I have tried harder to be that voice of gratitude and encouragement for other moms. I look at the young moms at church remembering those days. I remember looking at the clock and wondering what on earth we were going to do for the next six hours until bedtime. I remember what a wonderful gift an hour to myself was. I remember how overwhelming and discouraging it was to try to keep the house clean. I just want to wrap my arms around those mothers and tell them they're doing an amazing job. I hope they hear how wonderful their children are and that their imperfect efforts are enough.
But, amidst the absence of glory or small amounts of appreciation, I am still so glad that I am a mother. I am grateful for my four little gifts. I am grateful that God loves me enough to teach me through them. I know that if Heavenly Father came down today and gave me a list of my most important duties, being a mother would be right at the top. I know I am doing exactly what He wants me to. That gives me great strength and peace. Having that knowledge makes the awards and accolades of the world seem less important. It doesn't matter if anyone notices what I am doing, I will continue doing it. Motherhood is that important.
Here is Elder Holland's talk on the subject that always makes me cry:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1997/04/because-she-is-a-mother?lang=eng
5 comments:
Another touching, thoughtful post. I think every mother alive feels just this way on a regular basis. I love the idea of being a giver of encouragement to other mothers. This is a thought I particularly love by Elder Henry B. Eyring: “I never see a
mother juggling three little children who are crying while she is
smiling, as she shepherds them gently, without seeing in my mind's
eye her day of honor in the presence of the only Judge whose praise
will finally matter" (Ensign, October 2002, 19).
Well said. I saw a mother on a plane yesterday trying to calm a crying child by using sign language. It was clear the mother couldn't speak. Her frustration felt so familiar! There is a silent solitude to mothering for all of us.
You said it well. And you are doing it well. I'm thankful your going before me in this journey so that I can turn to you for guidance and help. You're a great sister and an awesome mother!
I thought, as I read your post, how much I would have loved to have a father in my life as an adult. You are blessed in many ways. Hang on, and just remember the awesome things you do every day, even if daily life seems only to be stressful. And make sure you get enough sleep!
I think of how great you are every time I talk to you on the phone. And I see what a great job you are doing every time that I hear the stories about your precious gifts. I think all the time of how blessed they are to have the fortifications you are giving them as they face the world ahead. Hooray for Miranda!
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