Gainfully employed

So, I was sitting at a track meet the other day chatting with Lily's parents (Marie and John Olsen).  Marie mentioned that they were short staffed at their PT clinic and I felt the familiar nag inside that I get every time I hear of a job opening.  You see, working has been a looming issue for me for the past ten plus years.  Part of the nag I felt was guilt for not jumping at the chance to start working.  Part of the nag was pure terror of entering the workforce again and making such a huge commitment.  Part of the nag was knowing Brent would love me to bring in some extra money.  Part of the nag was knowing I have time to spare (and will have more of that very soon) and should be doing something "productive" with my days. I have felt a lot of pressure from the world, from Brent (although he denies it), and from myself about all of these things.  So much so, that it has become a very sensitive subject for me. So, I ignored the nag and continued chatting and watching the track meet.  

Over the next several weeks, the job opening at the clinic has come up several times with the Olsens.  And the nagging feeling wouldn't go away.  In fact, I realized that the more I thought about this particular job, the more peace I felt about it.  I still felt fear, pressure and anxiety.  But, I also felt like things would be okay and this would be a good fit for me.  So, I cautiously reached out and asked for details.  To make a long story short, they offered me a part-time entry level job.  It's nothing glamorous or high paying, but it seems like a great place to work, with good people.  I am working 10am-2pm two days/week.

This feels like a huge change for me and I am nervous about taking the leap.  Between this and the temple 1 day/week, I suddenly feel very busy.  But, right off the bat, I can tell you that this will definitely check some boxes for me.  It feels good to have to dress up and be somewhere.  It feels good to be earning a little money.  The people at Progressive PT are very kind, and friendly.  Marie and Jessica (my bosses) are very good at making me feel like I am amazing and an asset.  That feels nice (stay at home mom's never get that kind of feedback). On the other hand, it's a bit annoying to have to ask for time off.  And a bit annoying to not have so much flexibility in my week.  

So, here's to following those nagging feelings and stepping out of my comfort zone.  I am nervous-cited and cautiously optimistic about this new chapter.

The parenting roller coaster

Something I've learned raising teens and young adults:  if you think you're doing a great job and all the kids are thriving, just wait a week. Inevitably, you learn about a struggle your child is dealing with you didn't see coming. Or someone's attitude sky-rockets.  Or some event forces your family to make a detour.  

I can't even tell you the number of times I've gone from thinking, "Wow, our kids are doing great!" to "Oh my word!  How are we going to get through this," in a matter of days. Often it happens with all four kids at once.  Suddenly, the overwhelm is high and the discouragement is deep.  

But, those are not the things that make this blog book.  When the other shoe falls, you don't rush to document it or post on social media.  Both because of the shame and because those stories, as a parent, are not mine to tell.

But, I felt the need to just acknowledge the presence of these moments amidst these pages full of celebration and pride.   

I do want to focus on the success of my kids.  But, I want to just take a moment and say that in between these amazing smiles and high fives, there are also some hard things happening.  And, in a way, that makes the good even more precious.

Our kids are more talented than yours

It's true.  I often say to my kids, "if you weren't so talented, we could sit around all day and do nothing."  But, they have all decided to be awesome, so we are busy driving, cheering, supporting and clapping for them.  

This spring was full of track success for Aiden and Taylor.  Brent was able to get some nice photos at one of the meets.  Aiden got better and better at his 110 hurdle race.  He now holds the Walden record (15.14)  

Also, while racing at Mt. View, he ran into the hurdle with his knee (didn't fall or knock it down) and still won his heat.  Apparently, if you break it, you take it home.  So, now we have a hurdle as a keepsake.  Also, Aiden had a huge goose egg  on his knee for a few days.

Aiden also competed in the triple jump.  His season was kind of mediocre, but he ended up getting a state qualifying distance at the last meet.  He went to state with a fire inside him wanting to see just how far he could jump.  And, he ended up doing amazing!  

He beat his PR by nearly 2 feet and won 3rd place in the division with a jump of 42.08! It was so fun!  Good news: he went out on a high note.  Bad news: now he REALLY wants to know how good he could be and is wishing he had done track for all four years and tried to get on a college team.

Taylor also had a great track year.  Her problem is trying to find only 4 events to do each meet.  She wants to do them all and has had success in a lot of events.  This year, she has focused a little more on the 400 m race because she was having great times in the 400 x 4 relay.  Her 400 goal was to get under a minute but she missed that by 1.16 seconds. It took all season to get a good relay team together.  Girls kept being flakey or slow.  It was really frustrating for Taylor (she is the fastest girl at Walden).  At the very last meet, a new group of girls tried the 4x4 relay and qualified for state with a time of 4:18

Taylor also did the long jump whenever she was able.  Her season long distance was 15.7

She is always super motivated by her times/distances.  Track is a good sport for her because she is disciplined and self motivated (which is also why relay teams can be very frustrating).  Brent and I have learned to love track meets. It has been so fun to see these two try, learn and succeed at a sport besides soccer.

Taylor also participated in the annual piano ensemble.  Piano has been a real struggle to fit in so I'm not sure if she will continue. 

Amelia and I took a road trip to bring Sydney a new car. 

Also, she was having her own successes at BYU and I was excited to see her in a show after so long.  It was so much fun to watch her again.  She was performing in the BYU Broadway Revue and was part of a trio for one of the numbers.  She was awesome.  She is really having the best time doing MDT and is so happy at BYU.  She loves doing her homework (singing and dancing) and has amazing friends.  So proud of her!

Also, Emma was crushing life at NAU.  Her Senior capstone project has been a huge job.  She had to design a space with specific parameters, doing tons of research.  She decided to make a study/crafting/hang out space in Sahuarita with a small coffee bar.  She presented her project in front of her professors (we got to tune in and watch) who loved it.  We will get to also see her display at a small Interior Design reception when we come up for graduation.  She has really enjoyed her major and is so good at it!

 

I'm not crying-you're crying

High school season has come to an end-cue the water works

This is the also the end of Aiden's high school soccer career-cue the big water works.

First of all, Taylor had another amazing season.  She started every Varsity game and was rarely subbed out.  It was so much fun to see how much she has improved from last year.  Coach Jose is one of the best coaches we've had and he does a great job of helping Taylor feel confident and still motivated.  She is a vocal leader on the field and Her and Aiden were both given regional player honorable mentions.

Aiden also started and played every single game.  Man, it was fun watching this kid play.  That has seriously been one of the highlights of my life.  Watching him on the field-working, running, celebrating, succeeding.  Aiden shines when playing soccer and saying goodbye to that is very very hard.  I am kind of heartbroken that it's over.  I am worried about how he will fill this void. Soccer has been such a big part of his life, a big part of who he is. 

The team advanced to the 1st round of the 4A finals, meeting Amphitheater High in a home game.  The whole game was pretty intense.  Players were emotional and the game was getting pretty physical. Amphitheater had a player out of control who got kicked out. Even with the other team playing down a player, we still couldn't pull ahead and the game ended in a 3-3 tie.  We ended up doing penalty kicks.  Each kick was intense and we were tied when Aiden took his kick.  It was seriously like a movie-Senior year, last game, tied PKs and the lead character has to take the last kick.  Thankfully, Aiden made a perfect shot and I started crying with relief/happiness/grief.  Unfortunately, our next player missed and Walden lost the game. 

I was able to keep it together during Senior night.  But, once that last game was over, we all got emotional.  As soon as the PKs were over, Aiden bent over with his face in his hands and started sobbing. His coach came over and put his hand on his back and just stood by him under the lights while he cried.  It was sweet. (I took a photo but was worried it would embarrass Aiden so I deleted it soon afterwards).  

For the next two weeks, my emotions were pretty close to the surface.  I made a highlight video of every single soccer video we had since he was a little kid (for his graduation party).  That was pretty emotional but it also helped me to just cry things out.  Thankfully, Aiden has a few more weeks of club season so we have a little bit more games left. But this feels like a very big loss and we are grieving a bit (part of me knows this is a bit dramatic, but its also true.)

Aiden, we are so proud of you both on and off the field. Cheering you on all these years was one of our greatest honors!

 

Party Goals

A few weeks ago, I had some friends over for a weekday afternoon.  We worked on a puzzle and just took time to chat.  I walked away feeling rejuvenated and so happy.  I am clearly an extrovert.  I started thinking, if having people over really does fill my cup and make me happy then I should make it a bigger priority.  So, I decided to make that my new year's resolution.  I have made a goal to throw one party each month.  I am not sure how this is going to go.  Maybe once a month is too often.  But, I am excited too.  For January, I invited a few ladies over for a soup exchange.  Honestly, it was a bit underwhelming. Only three people ended up coming and the conversation was a bit awkward. I am hoping things get better.  I am also going to try to take photos of the parties and look back over the year.  Here's to new goals and making important things a priority.

 Unfortunately, this was the only photo I took at the end of our soup swap.  Not the best start.

End of the 2025

 Our year ended much like it does every year:

High school soccer season.  Hard to imagine Aiden never doing this again.  Taylor is starting in the midfield for the Varsity team and Aiden is still an amazing defender.

Gas station nachos on Christmas Day.

Winterhaven with the Clarks.

Travel Log

We have travelled more this year than ever.  I did a quick tally, and these are all the places we've been this year.

Phoenix=over 20 (honestly, this is probably one of our lowest compare to other years as Aiden didn't do club soccer in the spring.  I would guess we have gone to Phoenix close to 50 times in a year before.

• Korea=1
• Boston=3
• Utah=4
• Flagstaff=4
• Georgia=2
• Texas=2
• California=1
• Mexico=1
• Alabama=1
• Ohio=1
• Iowa=1
• Spain=1

A lot of these trips are Brent travelling for work.  At one point this year, he was out of town every other week for almost three months.

If our family was younger, this would have been impossible but we all just rolled with it and adjusted as needed. Although I definitely missed my bed a few times.

All Dogs Go To Heaven-especially Tesa

 We said goodbye to Tesa this month.  A routine vet appointment turned into a major decision.  Turns out, Tesa's congenital heart failure was pretty advanced and she was literally drowning from fluid in her lungs (I thought she was coughing from allergies). The vet explained that, without medication, she has only hours to live.  It was a rough afternoon. We decided that we didn't want to just keep her alive for our own comfort.  She had lived a good life and if it was time, that was okay.  But, I knew the kids would need some time to say goodbye. So, we got some medication to keep her alive for a week so we could make arrangements. 

I will never forget going to the vet a few days later with Aiden and Taylor.  I bathed her and put her in the car. Sweet Tesa had no idea was what coming and watching her slip away was surprisingly awful.  Coming home to an empty house has been hard.  We all miss her.  I have hung her collar on the pegs in the kitchen.  Not sure what to do with it but I knew I didn't want to throw it away.

Spain

 A few months ago, Brent found some cheap flights to Spain.  So, we decided to take a trip. 

First, we spent a few days in Madrid.  We saw a ton of beautiful churches and other buildings, took a bike tour, went to a few museums, took a day trip to a small town named Toledo and ate some Paella (a Spanish rice dish.  There was a slight mix up and we ended up getting one filled with seafood.  Brent had to pull his weight on that one).

After Madrid, we took a high speed train to Barcelona and spent several days experiencing that city. Brent was fascinated by the change in languages (Spanish in Madrid and Catalan in Barcelona). We took another bike tour, saw the famous Sagrada Familia, visited Montserrat (a monastery city in the mountains), did a short hike and attended a Flamenco show.

My favorite thing was attending an FC Barcelona soccer game.  We were able to get tickets last minute so we hurried to the stadium and got a jersey for me to wear (really, it was for Taylor-we also got one for Aiden). The crowd at the game was so much fun. They had all sorts of chants/songs/traditions that every single person participated in.  They were also a very soccer-intelligent crowd who was genuinely there to watch the game.  That made it more fun and created a comradery with those around you.  My only complaint was they they served their foot long hot dogs cold. eww

Choosing a College

In an effort to help Aiden form some kind of opinion about where he wants to go to college, we drove up to Utah during our fall break and took come college tours.  The struggle with Aiden has been that he doesn't really feel strongly about anything, except that he wants to go out of state.  So, I was hoping that showing him some options would help him decide what matters to him.  I am not sure it was a huge help.  But, talking/hearing about it did make him realize that he needs to get on this whole application process.  We toured Utah State, Utah Valley University, and Southern Utah University.  It is hard for me to know how to help him with the applications and decision making without micromanaging.  That is always a fine line with teens.  So, where he will end up is a mystery at this point.

But, our trip wasn't all college tours.  We went to conference, the temple, ice skating, a haunted house/corn maze and took a long Sunday drive up the canyon in the back of Grandpa's truck (this was probably a highlight.  The teens just laughed and joked and had a great time and Grandma and I got to listen and enjoy them).  

Also, last week Taylor went to homecoming with her (new) boyfriend Isaiah.  Taylor and Isaiah have been 'talking' for months.  He is very respectful (calls me ma'am), kind and supportive to Taylor, plays club soccer, and is a Sophomore at Walden. 

This is a first for all of us.  I am trying to help Taylor navigate all the social implications of having a boyfriend (stay connected to your girlfriends, not too much alone time with him, get to know him and let him get to know our family, how to have good casual "dates" etc)  Its a bit bumpy, but I am also grateful we can help her with all of this while she is still at home.  

Teenager decisions are questionable

 One 24 hour period at our house consisted of the following events:

Aiden decided to chug an entire 2 liter of soda while cleaning up from a party at Tyler's house.  He could hardly walk home and felt sick for the entire next day.

Taylor decided to drink a small cup of tabasco sauce while at a football game with Isaiah.  Her lips were burning for hours and she couldn't get enough water.

We found the following items in the trunk of Aiden's car:

 -our tow hitch

-a thick rope

-our furniture dollie

I never run with scissors (those last two words were unecessary)

That title sums up how I feel about running.  Fortunately, my kids don't share that sentiment.  They're busy, but both Aiden and Taylor chose to add cross country to their schedules.  Aiden does it mostly to be with his friends.  Taylor does it to get in better shape for soccer (apparently her practices 3s/week don't do that).  Both had improved on their times (Aiden even got under 20 mins.) and are having "fun".  Is it possible to call running fun?

Meanwhile, Sydney ran in a half marathon race.  She spent all summer training and had to really battle injuries and time constraints.  By the time race day came, she was excited but unsure how her body was going to perform.  She finished the race with huge blood blisters on the bottoms of her feet, soreness that prevented her from walking normally for days (which made getting to class a challenge).  But, she said it was nice to be able to say she has done it.  

So proud of my runners!

Progress in life and in our home

First day of school is probably the day of the year with the most mixed emotions from me.  I love the stability and schedule and seeing my kids start new adventures.   But, I am so so sad knowing they're that much closer to leaving the house.

How is it possible Aiden is a Senior????

A few weeks after school started, Brent took Aiden and a car load of his friends down to Rocky Point for the weekend for Aiden's birthday celebration.  It was hot a humid, and they ended up sleeping in shorts on towels on the sand because the tent was too hot.  It was a quick trip, but they all had a great time.  I know I've said it before, but I am so grateful for this group of friends.  What a blessing!

We also started our master bathroom remodel this month.  It is a bit of a splurge, for sure, but we are loving our new shower!!!  The whole bathroom feels so luxurious.  Here are some photos, but just know that there was at least 2 months between the before and afters. 

July

After Girls Camp, we had a few more week of busyness until things calmed down.  I took Taylor up to Utah to attend FSY with Hannah at BYU.  We flew up with Londyn and Jameson in tow so they could attend Grandma Camp at Grandma's house.

I helped my mom a bit with camp while Taylor was gone and I also got to hang out with Sydney since she had the week off between her camp counseling jobs. Shara came to hang out for the 4th of July weekend and we all went to a rodeo.

Meanwhile, Emma was working like crazy at her camp counseling jobs (she got 84 hour in one week) and Aiden was trying to get max hours at his job at Firehouse Subs.

With all three kids working, I was grateful to notice that they're all great employees.  Their bosses say wonderful things about them (to us and to them).  Sydney was even offered a long term job in the camp office because she impressed her boss.  I am so glad my kids can be functional adults in the workforce.  I realize that's not the case with some teens/young adults and that makes their lives very difficult.  This is partly why I am insistent on my teens having summer jobs.  I think there is a life skill in getting and keeping a job that you must have before you can be an adult.  I am proud that my kids have this skill set.  Plus, all sorts of lessons get learned once you have money to spend.

Girls Camp

 About 8 months ago, I was called to be the ward girls camp director.  For the first time in over ten years (thanks for COVID), we were having a ward girls camp.  So, that meant I was in charge of everything.  I needed to find a location, plan the food, find a theme, make t shirts, plan activities, create spiritual opportunities etc. for over 30 girls.  I'm not going to lie, it was a big job.  I think the food took 80 % of my time.  But, I had lots of advance notice, and I have plenty of free time to devote to the planning. The goal is to have the YCLs (the 16-18 year old girls) do the majority of the planning and then the leaders execute/support as much as needed.  Thankfully, I had a group of amazing YCLs who came to meetings and had lots of great ideas.  I was so impressed with these girls and their desire to make camp fun for everyone.  They were dependable, hilarious, thoughtful, fun and....I didn't get a single photo of them.

Our camp theme came from Alma 26:12 "I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things"  We used the euphemism "when pigs fly" as a theme.  With God, anything is possible-even flying pigs. Each girls deocrated a piggy bank with wings as a "mailbox", we had a stuffed pig that "flew" (on a fishing line) for our closing devotional.  I gave a devotional about how our trials or weaknesses (pigs) can become miracles (flying pigs) when we allow our Heavenly Father to work in our lives.  

For our adventures, we went to slide rock, hikes, did mountain biking (again some bike/injury drama), archery (so so fun!), a service project (we planted some plants for the homeowner who was giving us a great deal on their rental), had an amazing race night, dance party, spa night, testimony meeting, and lots of crafts.  I think it was a smashing success.  

I was really proud of how all the girls were helpful and kind to one another.  I started the week fully expecting some drama and we had none (except when the fire dept. showed up and told us we couldn't have a fire in the firepit).  The girls were willing to have great spiritual discussions.  They were fun and cooperative.  I made it a point to not dictate phones or clothing rules and camp was proof to me that we can let the girls make their own decisions and it is not a detriment to their spiritual experiences.  

Honestly, it was a busy and hard week (I had a headache for 4 straight days because I couldn't sleep) and I wish I had been able to enjoy it a little more.  But, it was so satisfying seeing months of planning come together to create a wonderful experience for these girls.  I was filled with love for them as I planned and as we hung out at camp.  They are wonderful teenagers!  I want to hug them all whenever I see them. Also, the leaders were pretty great too.